I couldn't make this up if I tried lol

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.
He set his class a project "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of the students, Rebecca and Jim - last names deleted.

------------------------------------------------------------
STORY:
(First paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs,
keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if
she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again.
So chamomile was out of the question.
-----------------------------------------------------
(Second paragraph by Jim)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S.
Harris to Geostation 17, he said into his trans- galactic communicator.
"Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed
out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across
the cockpit.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he
felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one
woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers
of Skylon 4. Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed hurriedly and
carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract
her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things
around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?"
she pondered wistfully.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament
Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target
for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the
human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty
the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough
firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop
them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor
off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion,
which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie and 85 million other Americans.
The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't
allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of
the sky!"
---------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.
My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
adolescent.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts
at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh
no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele
novels."
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Asshole.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
Bitch.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Wanker.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
slut.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Get f*cked.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
Eat shit.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
----------------------------------------------------------
(Jim)
Go drink some tea - whore.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Teacher)
A+    I really liked this one.

Easy & Delicious Ham Glaze

Description:
We celebrated with a Christmas meal on Sunday. After buying a nice piece of smoked ham on the bone big enough to feed a small third world nation I decided to glaze the ham, even though we were planning to eat it cold as it was rather humid that day.

Ingredients:
Cloves (as required)
2/3 cup of honey
1 tablespoon Dijon Mustard
3 tablespoons orange juice
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Directions:
Using a sharp knife, score a zig-zag pattern around shank end of ham. Starting at the bottom of ham, slide your fingers under the skin and work them up between skin and fat, loosening the skin as you go. When you reach the scored shank end, gently pull skin back in one piece and discard.

Preheat oven to 190C. Using a sharp knife, trim fat layer, if necessary (this is more likely on a picnic ham), so that fat is no more than 5mm deep. Score a shallow diamond pattern in fat, at 1.5cm intervals, without cutting into meat. Stud the point of each diamond with a clove. Place ham in a large roasting pan. Pour  1/3 cup water into base of pan.

For glaze, combine all ingredients in a small bowl. Brush thickly over ham. Bake ham for 45 minutes, basting with juices occasionally, until glaze is deep brown. If juices in pan evaporate too quickly, add a little more water. Transfer ham to a platter.

To carve, remove cloves. Steady the ham with a carving fork (or use a regular dinner fork) then use a long, thin carving knife to carve thin slices away from the bone, following the grain of the meat. Using the fork, transfer slices to a platter. Continue slicing in the same manner, working around the bone, then turn ham over and repeat on the other side. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Self Saucing Chocolate Pudding

Description:
Xmas this year is going to be fairly low key in our household. Mark is spending xmas day with the rellies and as Lee is working I decided that we would celebrate xmas early with a lunch tomorrow, it's about the only time between now and New Years we are all going to be home at the same time! I didn't really want to mess around with a new dessert recipe (although Lee found a Thai one he wants me to try), so I'm falling back on an old family favourite that never fails to please.

Ingredients:
* 1 cup self-raising flour
* 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
* 1/2 cup brown sugar
* 80g butter, melted, cooled
* 1/2 cup milk
* 1 egg, lightly beaten
* thick cream and berries, to serve

Sauce
* 3/4 cup brown sugar
* 2 tablespoons cocoa powder, sifted
* 1 1/4 cups boiling water


Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 180°C. Grease an 8-cup capacity ovenproof baking dish. Sift flour and cocoa into a large bowl. Stir in sugar.
2. Combine butter, milk and egg in a jug. Slowly add to flour mixture, whisking until well combined and smooth. Spoon into baking dish. Smooth top.
3. Make sauce: Sprinkle combined sugar and cocoa over pudding.
4. Slowly pour boiling water over the back of a large metal spoon to cover pudding. Place dish onto a baking tray. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes or until pudding bounces back when pressed gently in centre. Serve hot with cream and berries.

Notes & tips

* Hint: Pouring the boiling water over a spoon prevents the water from disturbing the sugar mixture too much.
* For an adult twist on this pudding, try reducing milk to 1/3 cup and adding 2 tablespoons of Kahlua to the pudding mixture in step 2.
* To reheat leftovers, spoon into a microwave-safe bowl. Cover loosely with plastic wrap. Heat for 2 to 4 minutes on MEDIUM (50%) power.

The Art of Tipping

I don't know if tipping is customary where you live, but in my experiences living in NZ and Australia, tipping is a privilege not a right. I know in some parts of the world the base wages for people working in certain industries is abysmal. I’m not saying minimum wage rates here are fantastic but one can generally survive on it if you have to.
 Don’t take this as an absolute truth (because I can’t be bothered looking it up to confirm or deny) but I heard or read somewhere that it is illegal here to solicit tips. I don’t think businesses are even meant to display a tip jar on the counter.
 
I will however generally tip my cab driver or waiting staff if I am out dining…. unless I’ve received really bad service – sorry you don’t get my buck for just clocking on at your job. The better service I receive the more lucrative your tip is going to be.

So yeah I’m curious to hear about your good, bad and downright ugly tipping experiences. Do you earn tips? What was the best tip you got (and why?). Or maybe you have a story about a time when you felt you went the extra mile & it wasn’t acknowledged. Have you ever left a tip when you felt someone just didn’t deserve it? What sort of tipping guidelines do you follow? 10% of the tab or what? Should you tip beforehand to get that good table and service or afterwards?

I’m going to share a story that came to mind when composing this entry.


When I came over to Sydney to meet Lee we spent our first few days together staying in the city, you know doing the whole touristy thing and spending heaps of time wining & dining. Well we had spent most of the day out & about and about 5pmish we were heading back towards our hotel to change for dinner etc. We were both pretty tired and as we were passing the Park Hyatt Hotel, the wine bar (with waterfront harbour views) looked so inviting we decided to stop in for a glass of wine & a chance to discuss our  plans for the evening.

The bar wasn’t dreadfully busy, there were several other couples, and one largish group of people, having pre-dinner cocktails, as they were all dolled up to the nines. We were casually dressed in comparison to the other patrons in our shorts & tshirts, but still tidily dressed.

We found seats & proceeded to check out the wine list. Although there was a bar tender working behind the bar, being a five star hotel it was the sort of place that offered table service. The only staff member that appeared to be taking orders was busy with another couple as we came in, but we weren’t in a hurry and it was nice just to sit and relax for a while. So we sat there and chatted for a while, as the minutes ticked by, as she served several tables…having to walk past where we were sitting several times. We sat there, in dumbfounded amazement when she walked over to the other side of the room and started cleaning up empty tables & rearranging chairs.

You know the feeling when you are trying to catch the attention of a waiter or waitress and they refuse to make eye contact with you? It can be really frustrating! I was happy to wait our turn whilst she dealt with the other patrons, but when she started cleaning tables after not even acknowledging our presence I just saw red! There was no way she could not have seen us, like I said she walked right past our table several times.

I marched up to the bar & before I could utter a word the bar tender politely explained I should take a seat and someone would take my order. Gritting my teeth I politely replied I would be happy to do that but considering we had already been waiting 20 minutes & no one had bothered to come near our table to take our order it was expedient to just cut out the middle man. I passed over a $50 note and ordered a $35 bottle of wine, & told the bar tender to keep the change. However it was at this point that she must have seen me standing at the bar so she hurried over. He finished uncorking the wine bottle and I was about to pick it up and the glasses when inspiration hit. I pulled out another $50 and handed that to him and said “And this is for your prompt and polite service”.

Now I’m sure they would get some pretty big tippers in that joint, but I just think my gesture took them both off guard because they stood there like stunned mullets. He thanked me but honestly the sour look on HER face was all the thanks I needed. It was worth every cent knowing that she would have been kicking herself for not taking our order (not that I would have tipped that extravagantly usually, but she wouldn’t have known that lol).

So yeah that’s the first and last time I’ve ever tipped because of lousy service.

Thanks to Diadem Pearl for the inspiration for this entry when I read her entry:
  10 Workers to Tip This Season...

Spicy Sausage and Bacon Paella

Description:
I highly doubt this recipe is for an authentic paella. But it's quick, easy and relatively cheap to make. You can serve this as a main meal or it would make a great side dish at a BBQ or pot luck dinner.

This doesn't last long in our household so I usually make a double batch! It's a good recipe to freeze, I usually do this with leftovers, in single sized servings.



Ingredients:
* 3 chorizo (or other spicy sausage or salami), sliced diagonally
* 4 rashers bacon, chopped
* 1 medium onion, diced
* 1 green capsicum, sliced (I prefer zucchini)
* 1 clove of garlic, crushed
* 11/2 cups long-grain white rice
* 440 g canned tomatoes
* 3/4 cup chicken stock
* 1 teaspoon turmeric
* salt & pepper, to taste

Note: You can also add/vary the ingredients depending on what vegetables you have on hand at the time. Finely chopped broccoli is good. I sometimes add a few chopped mushrooms and/or 1/2 cup of frozen peas.

Directions:
Cook the sausages and bacon in a large electric frying pan, or a skillet until well browned (about 5 mins). Remove from pan & drain on paper towels.

Add onion, capsicum, garlic & rice to the pan. Cook over a medium heat, stirring for 3 minutes.

Add the tomatoes (incl juice), chicken stock & turmeric. Stir to combine.

Cover pan with a tight fitting lid and bring slowly to the boil. Stir, cover again then reduce to a simmer, for approx 25 minutes or until the liquid is almost absorbed and the rice is tender.

Return the sausage & bacon to the pan, stir and heat through. Season with salt & pepper.

**My Notes**
The first few times I made this I did it the way shown above. But I found it took far longer than 25 minutes simmering for the rice to cook. I also had to keep adding extra chicken stock.I can't stand hard or undercooked rice so now I cheat! I partially cook the rice in the microwave for about 9-10 minutes & add it to the pan when I add the tomatoes. I still add chicken stock at that point (but halve the amount). Reduce the simmer time to 15-20 minutes and it turns out perfect every time.

Thai Green Chicken Curry

Description:
This is another favourite in our house.

Making this from scratch really doesn't take much longer than using a pre-prepared sauce, but you really notice the difference in taste!



Ingredients:
* 1 teaspoon vegetable oil
* 1 brown onion, finely chopped
* 2 garlic cloves, crushed
* 3cm piece of ginger, peeled, grated
* 1 tablespoon green curry paste
* 1kg chicken breast fillets, trimmed, cut into 2cm cubes
* 1 teaspoon chicken stock powder
* 1/3 cup Ayam Light Coconut Milk
* 2 tablespoons fish sauce
* 1 large lime, juiced
* 1 tablespoon brown sugar
* 1 cup coriander leaves
* 1/2 cup mint leaves
* 1 cup steamed jasmine rice and
* lime wedges, to serve

Sometimes I will add fresh noodles to the curry instead of serving it on rice.
Bamboo shoots, water chestnuts and mushrooms are optional extras I occasionally add, if I don't have the full quantity of chicken the recipe calls for.

Directions:
1. Heat oil in a non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Add onion, garlic and ginger. Cook for 3 minutes or until tender. Stir in curry paste. Cook for 1 minute or until aromatic.
2. Add chicken to pan. Stir to coat in curry mixture & toss until the chicken is cooked through.
Combine stock, coconut milk and 1 cup water in a jug. Stir into curry mixture. Increase heat to high. Bring to the boil.
3. Combine fish sauce, 2 tablespoons lime juice and sugar in a small bowl. Stir into curry. Roughly chop half the coriander and mint. Stir into curry. Reduce heat to low. Simmer for 10 minutes or until chicken is cooked through.
4. Spoon curry over rice. Top with remaining coriander and mint. Serve with lime.

Another draft out of the way - Yaay

Beer Battered Onion Rings

Description:
I've had this recipe for some time & finally got around to making it tonight. I must say I was pleasantly surprised. It rated much better in my books than different recipes I've tried in past. The batter was very light and extremely crispy, and didn't go at all soggy.

Ingredients:
1 cup flour
1 tsp. sugar
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
Egg (or egg replacer equivalent of one egg)
3 Tbsp. vegetable oil
1 12-oz. beer
3 large sweet onions, sliced into rings
Vegetable oil for frying


Directions:
•In a medium bowl, mix the flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.

•Add the egg, oil, and beer and stir until just combined.

•Dip the onion rings into the batter, then drop them into hot vegetable oil (about 365°F).

•Cook in batches, until golden and crispy (about 2-3 mins), then remove from the oil and drain on paper towels.

The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)

Rating:	★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Drama

I'm sure you all know what it's like to wait for a movie to come out that you really want to see & then you find out it's a piece of crap? I kinda felt this way about this movie.

I was excited when I heard that one of my favourite books from one of my all time favourite authors was going to be made into a movie. I really enjoyed both of the Elizabeth movies & had hoped this would be of a similar quality.

With the exception of Natalie Portman ( who starred as Anne Boleyn) the rest of the casting was abysmal. Scarlett Johansson (Mary) couldn't act her way out of a paper bag, even with a map and a compass. David Morrissey (the Duke of Norfolk) just couldn't compare in presence or talent to Christopher Eccleston's performance in Elizabeth and they could have substituted Eric Bana (King Henry V111) with a store mannequin and no one would have noticed.

The screenplay was weak. I couldn't wait for this one to end.

If you think I wouldn't recommend buying a copy of this movie then you'd be dead wrong. Yes you should buy it..........and give it to that family member you really don't like this christmas.

Linguine with Smoked __________ (you fill in the blank)

Description:
This is a recipe I stumbled across several years ago & I've tried it with smoked chicken, ham, salmon & turkey.

The ingredients stay basically the same, although when using the salmon I skip the mustard & add a little fresh dill instead.

Whilst I prefer the taste of the smoked ingredient I've also done this on occasion using regular leftover roast chicken.

Sometimes I'll add a few sliced button mushrooms, zucchini or cucumbers depends on whether I have any handy at the time...The key is to keep it simple...don't add too many extras to confuse the flavours.

Ingredients:
400 - 500 gms of linguine pasta. (I can't find this fresh here so I use a dried version)
1 smoked chicken (or substitute). Approx 300-500 gms.
300-400 gms sour cream (Lite is okay, you can't tell the difference)
1-2 T wholegrain mustard
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat leaf parsley

The ingredients are rough because I don't really measure exact quantities

Directions:
Okay here's how you put it together....

Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil & cook the linguine until al dente. Drain the pasta but reserve 1/2 cup of the water in case you need to thin the sauce. (I think I've only ever done this once)

If using smoked chicken, remove all the meat & discard the skin & bones. Slice into bite size chunks.

Place the sour cream in a frying pan & warm it over a very low heat until it thins, stir in the mustard (or dill) and season to taste with salt & pepper. Add the smoked ingredient. Toss in the linguine & parsley & mix well until coated.
Serve....

I serve this as a main, along with a garlic or herb bread, although it could easily be served as a side dish also.

Raspberry Cheesecake

Description:
I took the cheesecake recipe that Iri posted (which was delicious btw) for Lee's cooking challenge and adapted it from a pineapple flavoured one to raspberry.

This turned out really well ;)

Ingredients:
Base
1 pkt biscuits (digestives or superwine)
100g butter
¼ tsp cinnamon
3 tsp brown sugar

Topping
3 tsp gelatine
½ cup hot water
60g cream cheese
3 tbsp sugar
½ tsp vanilla
300gms fresh or frozen raspberries
150ml cream

Directions:
Crush biscuits finely. Stir in melted butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon. Press mixture into tin. Chill in the fridge until needed.

Dissolve gelatine in hot water and cool. In the foodprocessor cream sugar, vanilla, and cream cheese. Add half of the raspberries and continue mixing until smooth.Then stir in the gelatine. Whip cream and fold into mixture. Pour onto base and chill to set.

The remaining raspberries can be used to decorate the top of the cheesecake, once chilled, or served on the side.

The Original
Instead of the raspberries you will need a 450g tin crushed pineapple and 1 tbsp lemon juice. After you have creamed the sugar and the cream cheese add the lemon juice, pineapple and gelatine, stir well then fold in the cream.

Carrot Cake

Description:
Carey-Ann posted this recipe a few weeks back saying she came across this recipe 10 years ago & it's the best carrot cake she has ever had.

Cake making is not my forte but I thought I would give this a try. I didn't add either the walnuts or the coconut first time around. I don't have enough cake pans to try the tier cake so I just made the large one.
I have to say I was very impressed. The pineapple adds a really nice flavour and the cake was light and moist.

Ingredients:
2 cups sifted flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups oil (sunflower oil)
4 eggs
2 cups grated carrots
1 cup crushed pineapple, drained
1/2 cup walnuts
1 cup coconut (optional)

Cream Cheese Icing:

1/2 cup (112 gms) butter
8oz (225 gms ) cream cheese
1 tsp vanilla
1 lb (450 gms) icing sugar




Directions:
Preheat Oven to 180°C (350°F)

Sift first 5 ingredients. Add sugar, oil and eggs and mix well. Blend in the rest of the cake ingredients.
Grease and flour cake pans.
Makes either - a 3 layer cake, bake for approx 35 minutes.
- or 1 large 13x9 inch cake tin, bake for approx 45 minutes.

Icing: Combine ingredients; mix well. Makes enough for a 3 layer cake. For large cake, cut icing ingredients in half.

Coffee Crisps

Description:
I saw this recipe on Susan's blog last night so I decided to steal it & try it. Frankly I've been concerned that my caffeine levels are far too low lately lol.

I've just finished making a batch of these ( I got 45 biscuits out of the quantities given, and I should add each biscuit is only bite sized.....I couldn't help but think of you Angelique, these would make a great snack for those midget fireman lmao. So how on earth they say you can get 6 dozen biscuits is beyond me....)


The taste test verdict.......these were great!

Ingredients:
1 cup butter or margarine, softened (225 grams)
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup powdered sugar
2 Tbsp instant coffee granules
1 egg
2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour



Directions:
Cream margarine and sugar together. Add egg and coffee granules, stir well. Add flour and stir until fully blended.

Roll dough into 1-inch balls and arrange on a cookie sheet 2 inches apart. Flatten balls with a cookie press, the bottom of a drinking glass or any other flat, object. (I just used a fork dipped in flour to slightly flatten mine)

Bake at 350′F (180'C) for 10 to 12 minutes or until bottoms are golden. Makes 6 dozen.

Apple Cinnamon Cake

Description:
(For Jenna) Sorry it took me a couple of days to drag this recipe out.

I serve this warm as a dessert with plenty of whipped cream, but it is also quite nice eaten cold as a slice of cake.

Sometimes I use a different fruit, like peaches, raspberries or fresh cherries.

Ingredients:
- 150 grams of butter, melted
- 2 cups, approx, of well drained, lightly stewed apples, or a med can of apple pie filling.
- 1/2 cup sugar
-2 eggs
-2 cups of self raising flour
-2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
-icing sugar to dust

You can also add:
- 1/2 cup sultanas
- 1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Directions:
Mix all ingredients together and spoon into a well greased 20-23cm paper-lined springform pan.

Fan bake @ 160°c ( 320°f ) for 40-45 mins, or until golden & well cooked in the middle. Cool on a cake rack before serving. Lightly dust with icing sugar.

Crunchy Ginger & Mango Parfait

Description:
Not a true parfait, but a low calorie alternative that is just as tasty.

Ingredients:
*800gm can of mango slices (in juice)
*250 gm pkt of Ginger Nut biscuits
*2 x 200 gm tubs of fruit flavoured yoghurt
*1/2 cup toasted shredded coconut
*1/3 cup demerara sugar

Optional:
* 150 gm walnut crumbs
*whipped cream
*chocolate bar, grated

Notes:
*Demerara sugar is a type of unrefined sugar with a large grain and a pale to golden yellow colour.
*You can use a mango flavoured yoghurt, but this is also nice if you use vanilla or passionfruit.

Directions:
Drain the mangoes.
Reserve 1/4 cup of juice.
Cut the mango slices into bite sized pieces, cover and set aside.
Using a meat mallet or rolling pin break the ginger nut biscuits into pieces.
Process the biscuits pieces in the food processor until they resemble fine crumbs. (the first time I made this I didn't have a food processor, it took a lot of effort to do this by hand).
Combine the crumbs, coconut, sugar & nuts (optional) in a bowl. Make a well in the centre and add the juice, stir until the crumbly mixture is evenly moist.
In your parfait glasses, place a layer of mango, then yoghurt, then crumb mixture. Repeat layers ending with a layer of fruit.
Chill your parfait glasses for approx 1 hour before serving.

(Optional) Top each glass with whipped cream and grated chocolate.

Pumpkin Soup

Description:
I'm not a big fan of soup, unless you're talking about pumpkin soup, that I can eat by the barrel load.
There is only one brand of ready made soup that I prefer and for the last year or so our local stupid market only seems to have the spicy pumpkin soup in the one person serving size. I don't know whether the company has stopped making it in the large family size or whether the store just doesn't stock it anymore. I figured I would have to start making my own.

So a few months back I started on the hunt for a few recipes to try. I noticed I had a recipe in my handydandy recipe notebook. This holds a collection of recipes I have stolen from various people over the years. I normally make a note of who or where I sourced the recipe from but this one has no notation so I have no clue where I found it.

I was initially hesitant to try this one because I noted from the ingredients that it didn't seem at all spicy, but I figured I could try it & then experiment & add to it the next time. Well it actually is soooo nice just the way it is that I'm not going to bother trying to spice it up.

Ingredients:
1 kg (2 lb) piece of pumpkin
1 large onion, roughly chopped
60 grams butter
1 litre chicken stock
3/4 cup of cream

Directions:
Conventional;

Cut the pumpkin into large manageable pieces and remove the skin. Then cube. Heat the butter in a large pan, add the onion and cook gently for 15 minutes, or until the onion is very soft. Add the pumpkin & the stock. Put the lid on & bring to the boil, then reduce to a simmer for approx 20 minutes. Mash or puree the soup mixture. (If you use a food processor or blender allow the mixture to cool first). Return to the pan and add the cream, salt & pepper to taste. Stir over a low heat until heated through.

Crockpot;

Add everything but the cream to the crockpot & simmer on a low heat for 4-5 hours. Mash or puree the soup mixture. (If you use a food processor or blender allow the mixture to cool first). Return to the crockpot, still on low heat and add the cream. Simmer for another hour or so, stirring occasionally.

Serve with a dash or sour cream & garnish with herbs of your choice. And of course don't forget the fresh crusty bread or bread rolls.

We are having this tonight, it smells great - Yum!

Golden Dumplings

Description:
I was chatting with a friend about how different our diet is today than when we were children. The conversation kind of evolved (as these things tend to do) into a discussion about our favourite childhood desserts.

I’ll admit that my mum is a great cook but desserts especially were her forte. I just can’t understand how I was as skinny as a rake all those years, I guess my metabolism must have been in good working order.

Anyway it brought to mind this dessert that my mum & grandmother used to make. I don’t think I have had since it I was about 10 years old and I was curious……did it really taste as good as I remembered?
So I decided that I would have to make it just to see. I have never made this before, but I must have watched my mother make it so often that I could actually remember the quantity of ingredients…..that in itself is scary!

I made this a few weeks back & it definitely got the taste test approval of Ren & Stimpy. I hope if you give this one a try you enjoy it!


Ingredients:
Sauce:
2 cups water
3 tblspns golden syrup
2 tblspns butter
1 cup sugar


Dumplings:
2 tblspns butter
1 1/2 cups self raising flour
1/4 tspn baking powder
1/2 tspn vanilla
pinch salt
1 egg
about 4 tblspns milk

Apparently Golden Syrup is known as Corn Syrup in the US


Directions:
• In a large saucepan combine all sauce ingredients over a medium heat, cover and bring to a boil.
• Meanwhile, add all other ingredients to a food processor (except the milk). Pulse to combine then add the milk a tablespoon at a time, pulsing between, until the mix forms a ball. (you can mix this by hand but the food processor makes the job so much quicker!)
• Pinch the dough into 1-inch globs and roll them into balls. You should get about 14 balls.
• Drop the balls into the boiling liquid, cover with a lid and lower the heat. Simmer for 30 minutes. Do not lift the lid; the steam is needed to puff up the dumplings.
• After 30 minutes, lift the lid and, using a spoon, carefully turn the dumplings over in their sauce. The liquid will still be quite watery. Turn up the heat and let the syrup thicken for about 5-10 minutes. Watch that the syrup doesn't burn.
• Serve smothered in cream and/or ice cream.

Cooking Eggplant.

Ingredients:
Choose eggplant that's smooth, shiny, and firm.
At the market, look for eggplant with smooth, shiny skin that's unwrinkled. The fruit should feel firm and spring back slightly when you touch it. Try to find an eggplant with a stem that looks moist, as if recently cut. It's best to use eggplant when it's very fresh, but it will keep for two or three days in the crisper drawer of the refrigerator.

Unless you are char-roasting or oven-roasting, peel and salt for a big improvement in texture and flavour.

The most common type of eggplant is Globe (also known as Western eggplant). Globe eggplant is the most versatile variety, too—its larger size enables you to get slices and chunks. It varies in size from 3/4 pound to 1-1/4 pounds, with dark purple skin. A fresh globe eggplant has pale pulp with a few noticeable seeds, which darken and become bitter as the eggplant matures. Eggplant with parts of dark, hardened pulp with lots of dark seeds will be a disappointment—these parts must be removed; otherwise, the flavour and the texture of the finished dish will suffer.

Because globe eggplant and other large varieties usually have tough skins, peeling it is a good idea, especially if you're serving it in chunks or slices.
Even then, I don't like to remove the skin entirely. Instead, I partially peel it in a striped fashion, the way Turkish cooks do.



For char-roasting the eggplant and separating the flesh from the peel, you keep the skin on during cooking to keep the eggplant intact & remove it afterwards.

Tip: If you don't know what type of eggplant variety you are buying ask the market owner.



Directions:
Preventing greasiness. Globe eggplant, whose flesh is especially sponge-like, tends to soak up more oil than other varieties. If you've ever brushed a raw, unsalted slice with oil, you've probably noticed how readily the eggplant absorbed it. Salting draws out water and helps collapse the air pockets in the eggplant's spongy flesh. This makes the eggplant much less able to soak up lots of oil during frying or grilling.
Reducing bitterness. Salt pulls out juices that carry bitter flavours commonly found in eggplant. The bitter-tasting compounds are concentrated in and around eggplant's seeds.
To salt eggplant , peel it and then slice, cube, or quarter it, depending on the recipe. Sprinkle the pieces generously with salt and let them sit in a colander for an hour (you'll usually see a lot of liquid beading on the surface). Rinse the eggplant in plenty of water to remove the salt, firmly squeeze a few pieces at a time in the palm of your hand to draw out almost all the moisture, and then pat the eggplant dry with paper towels. Thorough drying is important; squeezing out excess moisture will give you a less greasy result.



Fry, grill, or roast—but whatever you do, cook eggplant thoroughly!
Eggplant is one vegetable for which slight under-cooking will not work. It must be completely cooked through until it's meltingly soft, smooth, and creamy; only then will it be flavourful on its own, as well as receptive to the other flavours with which you'll blend it.

Frying. This cooking method seems to throw people the most because of how much grease eggplant can soak up. If you're using globe eggplant, salt it and squeeze it dry; other varieties don't need salting. Be sure the oil is very hot and put the slices in the pan in one layer (if you crowd the pan, the eggplant will steam instead of fry and won't cook evenly). Turn often and adjust the heat to avoid burning until the slices are a rich brown colour. Drain on paper towels.


Stir-frying. Quick-cooking Japanese and Chinese eggplant are the best candidates for stir-frying. Cut the eggplant into 1/2-inch cubes. When the oil is very hot, toss the cubes into the pan with a little salt and stir-fry until the eggplant is a rich brown colour.
Grilling. As for frying, salt and dry the eggplant. Brush the slices with oil and grill over a medium-hot fire until soft and cooked through.
Char-roasting. Gives the eggplant a smoky taste. To achieve this, pierce the eggplant with a skewer and cook it whole and unpeeled directly over a grill flame until the skin is blackened all over and the flesh is thoroughly soft, 15 to 20 minutes. Char-roasting can get messy, so if you're trying this over an indoor gas flame, line the burner trays with foil or try broiling the pierced eggplant instead. Peel off the blackened skin, drain the flesh in a colander, and squeeze out all the moisture.
Oven-roasting. As an alternative to char-roasting, pierce the eggplant in several places and roast it whole and unpeeled on a baking sheet at 350°F until it's quite soft and starting to collapse, almost an hour. Peel and drain it as you would for char-roasting.

Chicken Parmigiana

Description:
This has always been one of my favourite Italian dishes but I used to loathe making it. The recipe I had was time consuming & fiddly, making the pasta sauce yourself & mucking about with degorging then char grilling aubergine . When I stumbled across this recipe in one of my books I thought I would give it a bash & I have to say not only was it easy it also tasted fabulous. I would give this one a five out five star rating so I hope you will give it a try.




Ingredients:
1-2 chicken breast fillets per person

Seasoned flour ( for coating )

Dry bread crumbs (for coating)

1 egg, lightly beaten

1 Tablespoon milk

Oil, for frying

1 jar (500 gms approx) ready made pasta sauce

2 Tablespoons shredded basil leaves

½ cup grated parmesan

Mozzarella cheese, thinly sliced ( I use about 450 gm block for 6 chicken fillets )


Directions:
If you don’t buy your chicken breast already filleted one breast should make 3-4 fillets (depending on the size). Remove the skin (if applicable) and trim the chicken of any excess fat or sinew. Pat dry with paper towels. Place the fillet between a couple of sheets of cling wrap and flatten with a rolling pin or meat mallet until the fillet is 5mm thick.

Place the seasoned flour and breadcrumbs on separate plates and combine the egg & milk in a shallow bowl.
Coat the chicken in flour & then shake off any excess, dip in the egg/milk mixture & then coat with breadcrumbs. Chill the crumbed chicken pieces for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 180 °c (350 °f ). Grease or spray a shallow oven proof dish & set aside.

Heat 3cm of oil in a frying pan. You only want to fry the chicken fillets for a short period of time so make sure the oil the hot! To test this add a drop of water to the oil, if it bubbles furiously you are good to go.
Cook the chicken until golden , approx 3-4 mins per side, & then drain on paper towels.

Spread a thin layer of pasta sauce on the bottom of the oven proof dish then add the chicken fillets, in a single layer. Cover the chicken with the remaining pasta sauce. Sprinkle with basil and parmesan & then lay the mozzarella slices on top. Bake for approx 20-25 mins.

Accompanied by a fresh green salad or seasonal steamed vegetables this is a dish that is sure to impress.

Chili beef and beans at its best.

Description:
Donna has been nagging me for this recipe for a while. I don't eat this myself with my bean-phobia, but the boys seem to like it. The only complaint I get is that it is not hot enough for their taste, so each time I make it I'm adding a few more chili's, up to 8 now & they want more!!

Ingredients:
2 tablespoons of oil
1 cup of diced onions (Use one medium onion)
2 lbs of ground beef
1 x 29 ounce can tomato sauce or 800 g tomato puree
1 x 29 ounce/ 800 g can kidney beans. Include all contents.
1 x 29 ounce / 800 g can pinto beans. Include all contents.
2 diced red chilis (mild) add more depending on how spicy you like it!
¼ cup diced celery stalk
3 medium tomatoes, chopped
1 ½ teaspoons of black pepper
1 tablespoon of brown vinegar
1 tablespoon of brown sugar
3 tablespoons of chili powder
2-3 teaspoons of cumin powder
2 teaspoons of salt
2 cups of beef stock or water

Note: Anasazi beans can replace pinto beans. They have more flavour and are sweeter.


Directions:
This is a recipe I have adapted for the crockpot, but I'll give the conventional cooking instructions here:

Lightly sauté ½ cup onions in 2 table spoons of oil in a large frying pan until soft and not brown.

Add the ground beef/ mince meat and gently brown breaking up the meat with a fork into very small pieces.
Note: Half the meat may be put into a blender on high speed to deliver to produce a smoother texture. (I don't bother )

Add all the remaining ingredients and mix well

Simmer over low heat stirring every 15 minutes for 2 to 3 hours.

Crockpot

As above, except halve the quantity of liquids & simmer on low heat for 8 hours, stirring occasionally.
Check the consistency with an hour to go. If it's too watery remove lid & increase temperature to high, this will thicken it up.

If any of you are chili fans out there, what ingredients do you add to your chili to give it that extra zing?

Mediterranean Potatoes

Description:
Just another personal favourite I wanted to share………

Ingredients:
6 medium Potatoes (900 grams)
2-3 Tbsp Olive Oil
1-2 large cloves of Garlic, finely chopped
Chili powder OR Cayenne Pepper (to taste, I usually use about 2 teasps)
Several sprigs of fresh Thyme, Rosemary or Sage
½ teasp Salt OR 2 teasps chopped Capers
1 Tbsp chopped Anchovies (optional)
2 Tbsps Caper Vinegar OR Balsamic Vinegar
¼ cup chopped Parsley
Black Olives (optional)


Directions:
Scrub the potatoes to remove all the dirt, then cut lengthwise into large chunky wedges or chips. Rinse or stand in cold water, pat dry.

Heat the oil in a large frypan, add the prepared potatoes & toss to coat in the oil. Cover the pan and cook over a moderate heat for 20 mins*, turning at five minute intervals, until the potatoes are barely tender and lightly browned.

*At the 10 minute mark add the garlic, sprinkle the potatoes with the chili or cayenne pepper & mix well. Put in several sprigs of your chosen herb & the salt or the capers, then replace the lid.

As soon as the potatoes are tender remove the sprigs of herbs, add the anchovies (if you are using them) & then the caper or balsamic vinegar. Cook for a further 10 minutes, with the lid off, turning occasionally.
Mix the chopped parsley and olives through the potatoes just before serving.

This makes a really nice change from plain wedges. I sometimes substitute half of the potatoes for kumara (sweet potato), sliced the same way. I’m not a fan of anchovies or olives so I just leave them out. If I don’t have capers on hand I don’t mind the salt/balsamic option. A generous dollop of sour cream on the side is a nice way to dress these potatoes.

Gaau ji (2004)

Rating:	★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Foreign

Also known as Dumplings (English Title) Nouvelle Cuisine (French Title)

Plot Synopsis;
It seems that few woman can resist the temptation of potential rejuvenation - for some it's a dreamy blissful chase, yet for others a never-ending nightmare of endless pursuit. But Mrs Lee can afford it all. An ex-starlet turned wife of a prominent rich man, she is destined to have this dream come true. She uses a lot of connections to get to the mysterious chef, Mei to obtain her famous specialty dumplings. At stake is her new "career" as a housewife of the rich. Mei's dumplings claim to deliver the goods. Mei, a former gynecologist, developed a secret recipe for rejuvenation which has allowed her to bid farewell to her career as an illegal abortionist. Now Mei only serves desperate rich women. Mei understands a woman's need and she can fulfill a woman's desire -- all you need is a leap of faith to take a bite into her special dumplings with their secret ingredient.

What I thought;
It’s nice to get away from mainstream movies from time to time. This movie by Chinese director Fruit Chan is definitely not what I would call conventional in content and in it’s lack of special effects. Christopher Doyle did a great job creating atmospheric cinematography, using some superb camera angles.

Not exactly a horror film, but definitely not one for the squeamish. The audience is gradually let in on the secret ingredient and the details grow more and more gruesomely explicit. This is definitely not a film that I'll need to, or even want to, view over and over again, but who said that good films are only measured by the number of times one can enjoy them?

Should you watch it? The only recommendation I can give, is that it's an interesting experience seeing what film makers produce outside of the Hollywood studio system.

Scones - just perfect for a Devonshire Tea

Description:
Some of my strongest memories of my mother when I was a young child was spending many companionable hours in the kitchen with her on baking day. My mother didn’t believe that store bought biscuits or cookies were good for us so everything was home-made. Mind you I’m not complaining, she was an excellent cook and baked a variety of biscuits, slices and cakes to feed a horde of hungry children. All of us were required to do a couple of hours each in the kitchen with her on Saturdays, helping to measure ingredients, making the cookies or icing them and dish pan duty. Usually around midday she would quickly throw together a batch of savoury or plain scones, some muffins or maybe pancakes or French toast.

My favourite was always when she did plain scones and we would have our own Devonshire tea party. (in case you don’t know what this is, a Devonshire tea consists of scones, halved & then spread with clotted cream and strawberry jam) We didn’t quite stick to the authentic tea, we used to apply lashings of butter then jam (usually strawberry or raspberry) and then add a dollop of whipped cream (can I say ewww to clotted). They were divine!

I can’t tell you how many times over those years I tried to make my own scones following my mothers recipe but after many many failures I just gave up trying. My results were usually inedible, athough I will say my brothers just loved them……they used to play this vicious type of tag (usually with a couple of cricket balls, but my scones hurt just as bad lol).

About 10 years ago I was watching a tv cooking show, I think the chef was a lady called Jo Seager, and she claimed to have an “easy fail-safe” scone recipe. I was sitting there thinking yeah right lady, you have no idea who you are dealing with here…. But I did pay attention & noted the recipe down thinking I might just give this one last ditch effort.

I waited patiently one day until my family were going to be out of the house for a few hours, there was no way I was going to risk being humiliated by my certain failure. I think I had even mentally drafted the nasty letter to the television chef telling her what a crock of shit her programme was lol.

Well I found the recipe very easy to throw together and in no time at all I had a batch of scones that actually looked and tasted like the real McCoy. I make these all the time now & have never had a failure since.

I hope if you do try this recipe you enjoy them as much as I still do.


Ingredients:
4 cups self raising flour

300 ml cream (1 ¼ cup US)

1 can of soda (355 ml) the original recipe stated lemon & paeroa but as that is only available in NZ so use lemonaide, sprite or 7up instead.

½ teaspoon salt


Directions:
Mix all ingredients in a bowl until you have formed a smooth dough. Tip out onto a well floured surface & roll or flatten dough to a thickness of 5cm. Cut into squares or press out shapes with a round cookie cutter. Arrange on a baking tray (I find I don’t need to grease the tray) & bake @ 220°c (425 °f) for approx 15-20 mins until golden in colour & cooked through. Cool on a wire rack.
Serve whilst still warm with jam or preserve of your choice & whipped cream. They are also nice if you garnish with fresh fruit & cream.

LABYRINTH & SEPULCHRE

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Mystery & Thrillers
Author:	Kate Mosse

Another double book review from me about 2 books written by Kate Mosse (no NOT that Kate lol)

If you haven’t already guessed I’m a big fan of historical fiction and both of these books didn’t disappoint on this front. Her first book Labyrinth was released not long after Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code & initially I thought “great another grail story riding on the coat tails of current popularity”, however after reading this book it was evident that Kate had spent years of research on this book, her attention to detail is amazing.

I like the fact that Kate has strong female characters in her stories, and she also splits the story between two time frames, that of medieval France (Labyrinth),19th century France (Sepulchre) and the modern day (both). Some characters in the first novel also appear in the second, although it is definitely not a continuation of the same story.
Of the two books I preferred Labyrinth but they were both a great read.

A brief synopsis of the books is given below:

LABYRINTH
When Dr Alice Tanner discovers two skeletons during an archaeological dig in southern France, she unearths a link with a horrific and brutal past. But it's not just the sight of the shattered bones that makes her uneasy; there's an overwhelming sense of evil in the tomb that Alice finds hard to shake off, even in the bright French sunshine. Puzzled by the words carved inside the chamber, Alice has an uneasy feeling that she has disturbed something which was meant to remain hidden...Eight hundred years ago, on the night before a brutal civil war ripped apart Languedoc, a book was entrusted to Alais, a young herbalist and healer. Although she cannot understand the symbols and diagrams the book contains, Alais knows her destiny lies in protecting their secret, at all costs. Skilfully blending the lives of two women divided by centuries but united by a common destiny, LABYRINTH is a powerful story steeped in the atmosphere and history of southern France.



SEPULCHRE
October 1891: A young girl, Leonie Vernier, and her brother, Anatole, are invited to leave the gas-lit streets of Paris and travel south to a mysterious country house - La Domaine de la Cade - near Carcassonne. There, in the ancient, dark woods, Leonie comes across a ruined sepulchre and is drawn into a century's old mystery of murder, ghosts and a strange set of tarot cards that seem to hold enormous power over life and death. October 2007: Meredith Martin decides to take a break from her research trip in Paris - where she is studying musician Claude Debussy - and head down south to a beautiful hotel in the woods. She becomes fascinated by the history of the place and particularly by the tragic events of one Halloween night more than a century before that shocked the small community. Thus her fate becomes entwined with that of Leonie. But it is only when she too stumbles over a secluded glade in the forest that she realises that the secrets it contains are far from dead and buried...A haunting mystery of revenge and obsession, set against the rich backdrop of southern France.

Real men DO eat Quiche!!!

Description:
Don’t listen to Bruce Feirstein – it is manly to eat Quiche!

I promised this recipe to someone either on here or on 360 a couple of months back, but memory fails me I can’t for the life of me recall who. So I’m going to post this on both sites & hopefully the intended recipient will see it. Better late than never I guess lol.

I had a ton of left over roast vegetables from dinner the other night so the next day I decided to throw together one of my favourite dishes. This is great for lunch on a weekend or served with a crisp green salad or coleslaw & garlic bread as an evening meal.

It is very quick to prepare, it’s a good way to use up left overs & the combination of ingredients is only limited by your imagination.


Ingredients:
Here is the basic vegetarian ingredients:
½ cup of self raising flour (or use plain flour & add ½ teaspoon of baking powder)
1 cup of milk
2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped (or 2 teaspoons garlic powder)
3 eggs
¾ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon butter
1 large onion, diced
2 cups of cooked potato, diced (doesn’t matter if you use roasted,boiled or steamed)
1 cup cooked broccoli or silverbeet or spinach
1 cup of grated cheese

You can add* :
Cooked ham, chicken or turkey, diced
Or Salami and/or bacon bits
Try adding mushrooms, tomatoes, grated carrot, cooked sweet potato diced, cauliflower, peppers or jalapenos. I also like to add toasted pine nuts sometimes.

*I've found no matter how much extra stuff I add I haven't had to change the quantity of batter.

Directions:
Mix flour, milk & garlic together (I find using a shaker gets the best lump free result). Pour into a bowl & add the eggs & salt. Whisk just until the eggs are the combined, don’t over beat the mixture.
In a microwave proof bowl add the butter & onion and cook on high for approx 1 min until the butter is melted & the onion is soft.
Butter or lightly spray a flan dish & then add diced vegetables, onion, meats or poultry of choice & grated cheese.


Slowly pour the flour batter mixture over the top evenly.



Bake in a pre-heated oven @ 220°c (450° f)for 25-30 mins, until the top is golden brown. (the batter works it’s way through the ingredients whilst cooking to form the quiche base)
Allow Quiche to cool for 5-10 mins before serving.

Tonight I made my version using salami & bacon bits. I used mushrooms, potato, sweet potato, pumpkin & spinach ( I always try like contrasting colours with the veges I use). It tasted sensational.

If you ask Lee he would still say the best Quiche I ever made was the one that I added some left over gnocchi into. I don’t know what possessed me to add left over pasta that particular time but he assured me it was a taste sensation.

Have fun experimenting if you try this one.
Let me know if you come up with any unusual combinations that taste good.

Rachel’s No Bake Rum Truffles

Description:
I stole this recipe from one of my girlfriends before I left NZ. She used to supply my family with a big tin of these every couple of months. Because I only purchased an electric beater last year I never had the opportunity to try it for myself, who in their right mind wants to cream butter by hand? Lol.
I did make a batch of these at Christmas time, and they were quickly devoured. They are very rich, I can’t eat more than one or two of these at a time.


Ingredients:
125 grams softened butter (1 stick of butter(US) is the equiv of 110 grams)
2 cups of icing sugar (aka confectioners or powered sugar)
3 tablespoons cocoa
1 tablespoon of rum (or the spirit of your choice. I personally prefer Brandy in mine)
1 cup sultanas (chopped )
½ cup of raisins (chopped)
½ cup of coconut (for coating)


Directions:
Cream the butter until light and then gradually beat in the sifted icing sugar & cocoa. Add the brandy & fruit . Chill the mixture for approx 1 hour then shape into 2cm balls & coat in coconut. Store in a covered container in the fridge.
(I found that I had to return the mixture to the fridge half way through making the balls as it was getting too messy to handle, but it was a warm day when I made them )