A new episode in the adventures of Tick & Vin

It's been a while, a long while actually since I've felt the inclination to do any updates, but here it is over halfway through 2014 & so far it's been a big year of changes for us.

Back in November last year Tick suggested it would be a great idea if we finally did the deed and got married. After being engaged since 2006 I think we both decided it was time & although we hadn't at that point saved a red cent towards the wedding it was a now or never kind of decision.
 Initially we were looking at a date before christmas but we then discovered that we had a minimum waiting period of 28 days for the marriage license to be approved so we set the date for Feb 8 instead.
  Everything went well & we had the most perfect day. Now we just have to wait another 8 years before we finally get around to the honeymoon ;)

So apart from our relationship status on facebook nothing really changed for us. Tick went back to working 5 nights a week at the Club in Sydney (including weekends) while I was still working 4 days a week on the Central Coast. Due to health reasons Tick wasn't installing blinds & awnings but he was still coming up to work to do some blind repair jobs on the days he wasn't working at the club.
His long hours combined with my long commute meant we still weren't spending a lot of time together.

Fast forward a couple of months and Tick was having a few issues that didn't make his job at the club quite as enjoyable, so when friends offered to rent us a property they owned up near Newcastle we didn't hesitate to jump at the chance for a total change of lifestyle. We knew that with Tick giving up the club work it would severely affect our income, however we were never serious contenders to knock Gina Rinehart off her pedestal in the richest person in Australia stakes anyway.

There were too many advantages to moving to NOT go for it...
For starters my commute reduces to 90 minutes from 3 1/2 - 4 hours, each way, or  just under an hour if I get a ride with Tickers.
 We now live a mere 14 minute drive from Lee's cousin Kate, whom we love spending time with.
Instead of a town house adjoining 4 others we now have privacy,a front & decent sized backyard, double garage, enough room for a veggie garden & room for a dog.
We live less than a 5 minute walk from beautiful Lake Macquarie (fun fact: It is the largest coastal salt water lake in the Southern Hemisphere)

The map shows the distance to work at Long Jetty from our original address and now from the new place.
Here are a couple of pics of our local area

It's been an adjustment moving to a small community of 5,500 residents but so far there have been more positives than negatives & I am loving having Tick home weekends and nights!!!
Time to sign off, we are heading off for a walk down to the lake on this beautiful sunny winter afternoon :)

Baking Tips from Nestle - some really helpful ones right here.

TIP #1: BUTTER & CREAMING: The Nestle's recipe calls for creaming the room temperature butter and sugar. The goal is to end up with mixture where the butter is just light and fluffy, and stays cold.  In general, if you cream sugar with soft butter or do it too long, the butter can't form or hold air bubbles, resulting in a flat cookie. If at any time you get distracted or the dough is becoming too warm, place in refrigerator as is until chilled. Start with CHILLED butter right from the refrigerator versus room temperature. Cut the butter into 1-inch cubes and chill again. Do not soften the butter to room temperature. Take from fridge and toss it in with the sugar.  Start creaming the ingredients together with a hand-held electric mixer, which is easier to control when making these cookies, rather than a stand one. Run the mixer over the butter lumps to break them up.   The butter lumps will not break up easily, occasionally stop the mixer and rub the butter and sugar together with your fingertips or a pastry blender until they do. Do so quickly and deftly to prevent the butter from melting. Resume creaming only until the butter and sugar mixture has just turned light in color and is still slightly grainy. Do not cream past this point. Refrigerate the mixture right after creaming for about 10 minutes before adding the eggs in the next step. I have found that this really helps. Or, use HALF BUTTER & HALF SHORTENING: The Nestle's recipe uses 100 % butter, which I prefer because of its taste. But, you can substitute it, 1 for 1 with shortening. Shortening produces a softer, thicker, chewier cookie. Butter's melting point is lower, at 92 - 98 degrees F. It melts in the oven before the starches in the flour have gelatinized allowing the cookies ample time to spread. Shortening  on the other hand, has a higher melting point of  98 - 110 F degrees, allowing for the flour's starches to set before the butter melts, resulting in a puffier one.   To get the best of both worlds, you can substitute half of the butter with (butter-flavored) shortening, both on the cool side of room temperature.

TIP #2: EGGS: The Nestle's recipe contains 2 large eggs. Mix them in THOROUGHLY, one at a time right from the refrigerator. Their slight chill helps to keep the butter as firm as possible through the final mixing stage. If you use room temperature ones, it will soften the texture of the dough.

TIP #3: The Nestle's recipe uses ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR, but add in 1 to 2 tablespoons or 1/4 to 1/2 cup more than the flour called for in the recipe, making sure not to add too much; extra flour will make the cookies puffier. Use bread flour for a chewy cookie: since bread flour can absorb much more liquid than all purpose flour, more moisture will stay in the cookie.Bleached or chlorinated flours also reduce spread, but I don't use them.  I recommend you always mix in the flour by hand with a large spoon to as not to overmix and toughen the cookies.

TIP #4: CHOCOLATE CHIPS: Use 2/3 of the amount (SOB!!) of regular chocolate chips or use the full amount in mini ones, instead; it's helps to reduce cookie spread.There are way too many chocolate chips in the recipe which also causes the cookies to spread. (But, of course because Nestle's is in the business of selling chocolate chips, hence the large amount) .

TIP #5: Again, the Nestle's cookie-spread is also controlled through the TEMPERATURE of the dough. Keep the dough chilled at all times. It allows the butter to reharden so that the dough is firm and the cookies will spread less. After forming and before baking, if the room is warm, also chill the formed cookie dough on the baking sheet.

TIP #6: When baking the Nestle's cookies, the RIGHT PANS are essential. NON -insulated, non-stick and light colored cookie sheets, without rims are the best to use. The cookies bake the best on them.

TIP #7: DO NOT GREASE the cookie sheets; it will cause the Nestle's cookie to spread. Line them with parchment paper as it works best for preventing it.

TIP #8: PREHEAT THE OVEN and use an oven thermometer to measure accuracy. If the oven is too hot, the cookies will spread too much when put in the oven. Position rack in the center and preheat the oven. Place cookie sheets in the center of the rack. If using more than one, position a rack just above the center and one just below. Stagger the cookie sheets between the two. Rotate half-way through baking and switch the sheets on the racks.

TIP #9: Place the RECOMMENDED AND CONSISTENT SIZE of dough on the baking sheet for even baking. You don't want some cookies to over bake if larger than the others. Don't make the cookies too large because if you are trying to make them chewy and puffy, you won't be able to get them from the cookie sheet after baking. If you make them small, watch them carefully because cookies burn quickly. Some bakers use small ice cream scoops (#20 disher, to be exact) to help them keep a consistent cookie dough size. If you don't have one, use the tablespoon from your measuring spoon set.

TIP #10: It is better to SLIGHTLY UNDERBAKE the Nestle's dough for chewier cookies. Remove the cookies from the oven a few minutes before they are done, while their centers are still soft and not quite cooked through. The edges should be slightly golden but the middle will look even paler. Let them sit on the cookie sheet for 5 - 10 minutes to harden a bit and remove to a wire cake rack to cool. If using parchment paper, simply remove the cookies on them to a cooling rack. Remove from paper when cooled.

TIP # 11: As with all cookies, make sure the baking pan has COMPLETELY COOLED before placing a new batch of dough on them. The fat in the recipe melts when placed on a warm sheet, causing an immediate spread.

TIP #12: And, always ENJOY YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES, no matter how they turn out !!

Cooking Tips 1Baking Powder

To test the vitality of your baking powder, add a teaspoon of it to a third of a cup of hot water. If it foams and bubbles, it has enough oomph left. If it just sits there, it's time to run to the store or — here's a thought — you can make your own. Combine a tablespoon of baking soda with 2 tablespoons of cream of tartar and 1-1/2 tablespoons of cornstarch. It may not have the same potency as a good store-bought double-acting baking powder, but it will serve in a pinch.

The Best Trifle Ever

Description:
I've never been a huge fan of trifle, but when I came across this recipe I knew I had to try it.....well I wasn't disappointed & judging by the number of helpings Lee has had he didn't find it too shabby! It was on the menu last christmas and I believe it will make a repeat performance this year.

Ingredients:
* 500 gm box frozen mixed berries
*2&1/2 cups water
*1 cup caster sugar
*1 tsp vanilla bean paste
*300 ml thickened cream
*1/2 cup icing sugar
*250 gm mascarpone
* 18 salvolardi biscuits
* Extra berries and chocolate curls, to decorate (use your favourite chocolate)

Moscato Jelly
*1&1/2 tblsps powdered gelatine
*1/4 cup of water
*750 ml bottle pink moscato sparkling wine

You will also need a large 3 litre serving bowl.

Directions:
To make the moscato jelly sprinkle the gelatine over the water in a small heatproof jug. Sit the jug in a saucepan of simmering water. Stir until dissolved.
Meanwhile in a second saucepan stir the moscato over a medium heat until warm. Combine the gelatine & then pour into the large glass bowl you will serve the trifle in. Refrigerate until the jelly is set.

Once the jelly is set place the berries, water, sugar & half of the vanilla in a saucepan. Cook, stirring until the sugar is dissolved then bring to the boil. Strain & reserve the berries. Refrigerate the syrup and the berries until cold.

Beat the cream with icing sugar & the remainder of the vanilla until soft peaks form. Stir the mascarpone in another bowl until smooth and then fold into the cream.

Dip 1/2 of the biscuits, one at a time, into the berry syrup and arrange in one layer over the jelly.Sprinkle with 1/2 of the reserved berries. Then add 1/2 of the cream/marscapone mixture. Repeat.

Decorate the top with the extra berries and chocolate curls.

Tempting Tempus Two

Whilst I like to indulge in a variety of different wines we discovered the Tempus range earlier in 2012 (thank you Lee) & I find myself coming back to these wines again and again.

The Varietal range retails for around A$14.00 a bottle whilst the pewter/copper ranges are around A$18-$25 a bottle.

My favourite is the Cabernet Merlot, it's a full bodied red that is very easy on the palate, with hints of berries,chocolate & cigar flavours. It may sound bizzare but it is very very nice.

I'm also quite partial to their Chardonnay & the Verdelho and with summer fast approaching I'm sure these will be gracing my shopping list frequently in the next few months.

So what is your current poison & do you have any awesome wine recommendations for me?

http://www.tempustwo.com.au/

Hello n all that jazz....

Greetings from Down Under,

I'm in the process of importing some entries from Multiply, please be patient while I'm learning the ropes around here.

Who knows...this could be the kick start my blogging muse has needed for some time!

~Vin~

The Deadly Follies of Stick Figure Warning-Man

This is a repost from Multiply that I wasn't able to import

I have the worst freaking job in the world.

You know those warning signs you always see with the stick man falling down or being crushed or otherwise incurring bodily harm? That's me. I posed for those pictures.

My entire purpose in life is getting hurt so we can put up signs to protect people who are stupid and/or illiterate. Is it really worth it to go through all this pain and humiliation just to ensure the safety of someone who doesn't realize that if they stand under a parking garage gate long enough it will eventually hit them in the head.

Aren't we better off without these people?

Ah, well. Even a stick-man has got to make a living somehow (my cousin is the guy who lets you know when it's safe to cross the street. Lousy jerk doesn't know how easy he's got it).

I'm Stick Figure Warning-Man, and my follies are meant to serve as a cautionary tale. Look upon my works and weep.

Or just be glad you're not me.

I've done so many of these damn slippery floor signs that most of them just blur in my memory, but this one stands out.

The director of the shoot kept going on an on about going for artistry as well as functionality and all that B.S., and how he wanted a shot of me landing right on my tailbone. We just kept doing take after goddamn take for hours.

After about take 50 or something I start to notice the crew and the director are snickering, and I realize they'd just been screwing with me the whole time.

Jackasses.

So anyway, the next morning I got up early and buttered up the steps from the directors trailer really good. He comes out for his morning mocha or whatever and his feet just going flying right up over his freaking head.

As they were loading him into the ambulance, I managed to get up beside him and whisper, "doesn't seem so funny now, does it, smartass."

But by then he couldn't hear me.

Let me see if I've got this straight.

You shouldn't put hard objects in your cupholders. Like, for instance, CUPS!

This is what happens when idiots who bump their heads in an accident have to go suing everyone that can get their hands on. You people have to have your precious sodas while you're driving, but you want them to be magically held in place when you go careening off the exit ramp.

So I have to do a shot of myself banging my head like an idiot just so a car company can avoid your moron lawsuits.

I blame the stinkin' lawyers.

Here your obsession with hyper-caffeinated sugar-saturated carbonated beverages gets me in trouble again.

It's not bad enough I'm about to get crushed to death by a pop machine, but for some reason there are goddamn lightening bolts striking me in the head at the same freaking time.

Just how stupid does someone have to be to get hit by the arm of a parking garage gate? Let me count the ways:

1. These arms don't stay up long. If you're able to stand under it, odds are very good you just saw the damn thing go up. So, even if somehow you've never seen one of these before, you know how they move. What goes up, must come down - even if your idiotic melon head is under it.

2. You're hanging around right in path of oncoming traffic. Frankly, a little bump on the noggin isn't even the greatest danger to you.

3. You enjoy just standing there in parking garages.

Now, I understand that homeless people occasionally climb into dumpsters for warmth, but this signs warns against playing in them. PLAYING!

Who the hell is playing in dumpsters?

Anyway, just in case some idiot kids want to play in dumpsters, I had to do it for this picture. Did they get me a nice, pristine, new dumpster for the shoot? Hell no, they had to go for authenticity, and I wind up with a face full of rotting food, broken glass, and God knows what other crap you people throw away.

Have I mentioned I hate my job?

God, I hate it when they do this. I'm working hard here - I put my face right in a damn explosion. I even got one of those orange blasts right through my frickin' head, and what do they do with the picture?

They put one of those damn red circles with a line through it right over most of my body. C'mon people, I think the big explosion in the face made it clear enough that this is something NOT to do without ruining the subtlety of my work.

Can we give people NO credit?

Sheesh.

Here's the wife and kid at the supermarket. Did you know as stick figure people we don't even really need to eat? It's true. Notice they have no food in the cart.

Still, we do this kind of thing just to keep you safe. The kid loves it, he never sits still - not even if daddy has had a very, very long day getting his head slammed or falling off things or crushed under heavy objects.

No, junior doesn't care - he just wants to play, play, play! Like daddy is some kind of jungle gym made just for him! He's a little hyperactive monkey I tell you!

Oh, I love him, though.

I have to.

Here's the precious little angel with his favourite toy in the world.

I work like a freak to buy him whatever stupid must-have toy the advertisers are shoving down our consciousness at the moment, and what does he want to do? Climb in a damn bucket.

See what happens when you take a job where you get smacked around all the time and inhale fumes and get electical shocks? Your kids come out morons.

Boy, do I remember the day we shot this one.

Normally, I get to work alone, but every once in a while they bring in somebody else I gotta deal with. For some reason it wasn't good enough to just send hazardous voltage coursing through my body. Oh no! No, this time they gotta send sentient anthropomophic hazardous voltage coursing through my body.

This guy isn't acting either. He's every bit the jackass he looks like in the picture.

Here my son almost gets zapped while visiting Stratford, Canada.

There, though, power stations aren't just protected by warning signs, but also talking, baseball hat-wearing seagulls. They do things differently up there. So, anyway, he was safe.

Well, not safe from the seagull, though. The seagull pooped on him.

I know people love walking on the tracks of subways and elevated trains. It's why it was SO FREAKING IMPORTANT that I get this picture taken and save thousands of geniuses from getting crispy-fried and delaying commuters.

You know, if you're dumb enough to walk on subway rails and get zapped, you probably also need to be warned that if you wait around long enough, you're also going to get hit by the damn subway cars! I'm surprised they didn't have me pose for a picture of that too!

Wait! Scratch that! Forget I said that!

Here, AGAIN, I have to endure some serious voltage for no good reason. Couldn't they just have used the one with me getting zapped by the electrical cloud with the face again?

No, of course not, that would be too goddamn simple. Some jerk got it into his head that for his generator he'd really like a shot where you see my insides getting the old Texas correctional treatment.

Of course, sometimes I wonder how dangerous this whole high-voltage stuff really is. I mean, isn't this how lots of super-villians get started?

I know I'm often trying to make the point that these signs aren't necessary, but could there possibly be a LESS necessary sign than one that basically states: "Please do not sit on the giant chainsaw?"

Come on!

And yes, I'm just a stick figure and my leg can be reattached, but that doesn't mean getting it cut off doesn't hurt like hell.

Whatever happens to someone who willingly sits on a giant chainsaw, they deserve it.

Case closed.

Here we learn that if you're unlatching your truck tailgate, the tailgate may actually open!

Wow!

So don't wave at your friends while doing so.

And with larger trucks, you may get smooshed completely then walk around for a little while in the shape of an accordian.

I seriously think I've been maybe a couple centimeters shorter ever since doing this shoot.

So I'm hanging out with my buddy the other day after work, and he's going on and on about what a lousy day he'd just had.

"Oh, the phone just kept ringing off the hook and my customers just kept complaining. Wah, wah, wah. And, oh, it took me soooo long to get my spreadsheets to balance. Blah, blah, blah."

And he goes on like this for the longest time, ball-babying about how rough his desk-jockey job is, and then he finally turns to me and says, "So, how was your day?"

"Well, pal, lemme tell you..."

They forgot to add that rotating driveshafts can also turn you into a damn cartoon character and make your body do things any biologist worth his beaker would say were completely impossible.

OK, now I gotta go see my chiropractor.

Shooting this warning was not only excruciatingly painful (so what else is new), but also damn insulting to my integrity as a professional.

I show up for this shoot not knowing what kind of sign I¹m going to be shooting for (which is damn annoying to begin with because had I known it was going to be YET ANOTHER shot of me getting electrocuted by a damn electrical box, I could've just told him to use one of the many I'd already done).

So, the director tells me they've got to set up for a while, and I should just relax while I wait, and, oh why not grab yourself a donut out of that innocent little cabinet over there.

So I reach in to enjoy some doughy goodness and ZAP! I get blasted with a damn lightening bolt. The crew is cracking up, and the director, through his jackass smirk, tells me I'm all done ­ they just got the shot.

So I ask him what the heck he thinks he's doing, and he tells me ­ get this ­ he wanted to spring it on me so they could "capture the image of genuine surprise and alarm."

I thought about explaining to him that I'm a pro and had made my damn living by selling surprise and alarm, but my temper got the better of me and I decided to capture my own genuine image of surprise and alarm by kicking him in the goodies.

Most satisfying lawsuit I've ever been served.

What I don't understand is why we couldn't, just for the sake of the picture, simulate this potential hazard using, say, water or soda or bourbon or pretty much anything other than SCALDING HOT PRESSURIZED OIL!

Damn it, people, a little imagination!

Plus, they painted a heart and a vein along the outside of my body and it took about 47 takes until they were able to blast me right where the line started. 

"Well, I know we've had Stick Figure Warning Man come in and do shots of being hit by tailgates, and falling off tailgates, but what if ­ now get this ­ somebody didn't know they would also get hurt if they got hit by a tailgate with boxes on it!"

"Oh, we'd better call him in again!"

Jerks.

I can't even enjoy doing the damn YMCA in peace.

So I'm talking to my buddy, Stick Figure Don't Litter Man, about how much I hate my job and how I'm thinking about quitting the business.

"What would you do?" he asks me.

"I don't know. You've got a pretty sweet gig, maybe you could set me up with a Don't Litter job or something," I replied.

So he tells me he'll think about it. The next day he calls me and tells me he thinks maybe I should just get out and have some fun - relax and clear my head - and he invites me to go golfing with him.

So we play the first couple holes, things are going well, I'm actually feeling a little better about things and all of a sudden Stick Figure Don't Little Man starts driving the cart like a freaking maniac. The bags go flying out of the cart, my beer goes flying out of the cart, and then I go flying out of the damn cart!

And, as I do, I hear the familiar flash of a camera.

Turns out the whole golf outing was just a set-up to get me to do another warning sign shoot!

My "friend" tells me he just did it for my own good, that I needed to get back on the horse.

Creep. In real life he litters like crazy, too!

Then, after the last shot gets taken, I started storming away from there. With friends like Stick Figure Don't Litter Man, who needs enemies?

Then this happens.

I swear I'm going to kill him, just as soon as I can walk again.

So, I got the call for this gate job, and it really didn't sound like that bad a gig, compared to the usual anyway. Just a little scraping and crushing from a moving gate, not too bad. Plus, they wanted me to bring the kid along, not to also get crushed by the gate, but just for a simple running shot they could put the "no" sign around.

And that should be a good thing, right? I mean, I should be happy to be able to spend a little extra time with the kid. I was happy about it. So, first of all, the gate hurt a helluva lot more than I expected. Why do we need such forceful automated gates? What happened to people just opening gates with their own body? What happened to people doing ANYTHING with their own bodies? Damn automatic door, remote-controlled, moving parts world is causing me a lot more grief than is really necessary. Still, that's what pays my bills, so whatever.

Anyway, I get slammed around and scraped up for a while by the damn flying metal gate so the director can get the shot just right. Then when he does, he announces he wants to set it all up again to shoot the other half of the gate doing the same thing?

So I just blow up at that point.

"We can't even trust people to figure out BOTH ends of the gate can crush them? We can't just show me getting crushed by ONE side and let people realize that the other side is the same?"

No, we could not.

"Can't we just use the picture we just took and flip the image since everything about the gate is exactly the same?"

Apparently, we could not. We had to go through the whole damn ordeal again with the slamming and the crushing and the pain. In the end, of course, they did just take the best picture from the first side and reverse the image. LIKE I SAID! Idiots.

Then they get the shot of my son, five minutes, no problem. So the kid has been waiting around for me all day, and he's been pretty good, so I let him run around and blow off some steam while I talk to the producer and just finish up some final business arrangements. They're tearing down the equipment and one of the trucks with the lights is heading out and I hear this sudden horrible clanging and crunching noises and an ear-splitting scream.

It's my idiot kid, of course, and he's gotten caught up in the moving gate.

Everyone got a big laugh that Mr. Stick Figure Warning Man had let his son play on or around the moving gate right. Yeah really funny, jerkholes. Funny if you don't have to drive home with him blubbering in the backseat all the way and get crowned by the wife with a rolling pin when you try to explain.

Man, my life.

So this is how it NORMALLY works. Normally, for one reason or another, someone decides their product needs to have a warning label and they call me or a member of my family in to do a photo shoot to put the label together.

Sometimes, though, sometimes they actually get the idea for the warning in the first place because of something that happens to me... or someone in my family.

That damn kid scattered my Warrant CDs all over the living room.

This warning sign goes on the side of a garbage truck. I tell you this because, you might not realize this, as you don't actually SEE a garbage truck in the picture.

Of course, I got stuck with one of those pretentious directors who are obsessed with "capturing gritty reality" or whatever so he makes us actually shoot this using a real garbage truck.

Full of actual garbage.

Rotting, stinking, garbage. Prancing ninny.

I honestly thought they were kidding when my agent called me about this one.

"Hey, SFWM, I got you another gig!" he said.

"Great," I replied with the usual contradictory mix of being glad for the work and weary fearful anticipation of what the work would actually involve. "What do I need to warn people about this time?"

"Stairs."

"Stairs?" That couldn't be it. "Stairs on fire?"

"Nope."

"Icy stairs?"

"Nope."

"Those stairs you see in cartoons sometimes that suddenly flatten without warning and send people perilously cascading downward?"

"Nope."

"Is there anything," I asked, "particularly unusual or dangerous about these stairs?"

"They're on a bus," he replied.

"A double decker bus? A bus made of butter?"

"Nope. Just the regular entrance stairs on a regular bus. They want you to act out how someone might trip on them."

OK then. I've certainly had much more dangerous and painful gigs in my day, but I'm not sure I've ever had any stupider.

and finally....This was a warning sticker that I shot to be placed on the back of a juicing machine, because apparently some of you mouth-breathers are under the impression that you make the juice by pulling the entire machine, from the back, down on top of the oranges. Next time, try using the actual device on the front, geniuses. 

~The End~